Dear Consumer:
Please allow us to thank you for your ridiculously regular consumption of our product.
As a gesture of our gratitude for your brand loyalty, we are including a one-year supply of Excedrin Migraine Formula for you completely free of charge.
Of course, for you, valued customer, it will likely only last a month, and the addictive nature of the drug combination will reinforce your need for more.
Much luck with that in the future.
In gratitude,
Your Friendly All-Powerful OTC Drug Manufacturer
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