[spooky music]
[the floor creaks]
Voiceover: "Do you know..."
[the sound of glass shattering]
[a woman screams]
Voiceover: "...where your 8-track player is?"
Friday, October 31, 2008
10/30/08 Stove Top
Yesterday in anticipation of halloween
I turned my stove top into a mini bar,
complete with glasses, liquors, mixes, limes,
and it was so beautiful and functional.
I have finally discovered what
my stovetop is for.
I turned my stove top into a mini bar,
complete with glasses, liquors, mixes, limes,
and it was so beautiful and functional.
I have finally discovered what
my stovetop is for.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
10/29/08 Tequila and other Trick-or-Treating Supplies
Like most people, I -
don't roll your eyes at me.
Not quite yet.
Save it for the punch line.
Like most people, I
wait all year for halloween.
Like a heroin addict in a poppy field.
Grow faster, god damn it!
And now, with only two days to go,
I find that I am losing sleep over the
sugar skulls.
They still have no delightful sugary frosting decorations.
I have not started assembling my costume,
and am not sure if I have enough vinyl records
and vhs tapes to make an impact.
And, more importantly, do I have enough liquor?
I said, DO I HAVE ENOUGH LIQUOR?
When I say have enough, you say liquor.
Have enough!
don't roll your eyes at me.
Not quite yet.
Save it for the punch line.
Like most people, I
wait all year for halloween.
Like a heroin addict in a poppy field.
Grow faster, god damn it!
And now, with only two days to go,
I find that I am losing sleep over the
sugar skulls.
They still have no delightful sugary frosting decorations.
I have not started assembling my costume,
and am not sure if I have enough vinyl records
and vhs tapes to make an impact.
And, more importantly, do I have enough liquor?
I said, DO I HAVE ENOUGH LIQUOR?
When I say have enough, you say liquor.
Have enough!
10/28/08 Putting Off
What might I be putting off:
if I decide to paint the bathroom?
if I decide to grout the backsplash?
if I decide to reorganize the closet?
if I decide to sew two pillow cases?
Mmm, I see.
Yes.
Those are all very good answers.
if I decide to paint the bathroom?
if I decide to grout the backsplash?
if I decide to reorganize the closet?
if I decide to sew two pillow cases?
Mmm, I see.
Yes.
Those are all very good answers.
10/27/08 The Giggles
They get the giggles and sister,
bed time is officially on hold.
I'm not gonna be the one
to try to stop it or make it go.
Cause I don't know why the
clock
fake
number
time
construct
would ever be more important
than an uncontrollable explosion
of pure joyfulness.
Do you?
bed time is officially on hold.
I'm not gonna be the one
to try to stop it or make it go.
Cause I don't know why the
clock
fake
number
time
construct
would ever be more important
than an uncontrollable explosion
of pure joyfulness.
Do you?
10/26/08 Victory Flags
All the little Obama bumper stickers
buzzing around town
look more like victory flags
waving goodbye
and waving hello
buzzing around town
look more like victory flags
waving goodbye
and waving hello
10/25/08 Migration Pattern
I thought I saw the geese circling up
over the fields south of town while I sat
at the Cottonwood BMX track one Sunday.
I hadn't seen any yet this autumn at all,
and was looking forward to the melancholy
and sense of doom they always awaken in me.
So I craned my neck to see the V's taking off,
then overheard a man tell his wife look the
sandhills were flying south for the winter.
Sandhills. Sandhill cranes!
I didn't even know they came through here,
I say as if they were the traveling Shriner's circus
or a pack of migrating helmet-less Sturgis bikers.
And I got all excited about these birds that
looked remarkably like geese from the ground,
but that said whirrrr instead of haaaa.
Damn sandhill cranes flying south instead of geese,
and taking all of my well-deserved and
hard-fought melancholy with them to Florida.
over the fields south of town while I sat
at the Cottonwood BMX track one Sunday.
I hadn't seen any yet this autumn at all,
and was looking forward to the melancholy
and sense of doom they always awaken in me.
So I craned my neck to see the V's taking off,
then overheard a man tell his wife look the
sandhills were flying south for the winter.
Sandhills. Sandhill cranes!
I didn't even know they came through here,
I say as if they were the traveling Shriner's circus
or a pack of migrating helmet-less Sturgis bikers.
And I got all excited about these birds that
looked remarkably like geese from the ground,
but that said whirrrr instead of haaaa.
Damn sandhill cranes flying south instead of geese,
and taking all of my well-deserved and
hard-fought melancholy with them to Florida.
10/24/08 Faker
I have developed the habit
of writing many poems at a time
while dating them separately
to appear as if this is a daily activity,
even though I realize I am only
cheating at my own game,
which is the lamest thing I could do,
so I hope the fake out is working.
of writing many poems at a time
while dating them separately
to appear as if this is a daily activity,
even though I realize I am only
cheating at my own game,
which is the lamest thing I could do,
so I hope the fake out is working.
Friday, October 24, 2008
10/23/08 Ode to Ode
Ode,
though I have let
my subscription expire,
don't think for a second
that I don't think of you.
Don't think I don't pine,
as your sweet pages
may pine for the pines
they may have once been
the time before they were
lovingly recycled from
the post-consumer waste stream,
or the new-growth pine
from which your water wheel
of sparkling, refreshing and
unfailingly sustainable ideas
may have been rough-hewn.
I have every pulpy piece of you
tucked gently onto my bookshelf,
in a neat stack all facing the same way,
waiting in suspended motion
for the moment
when I can unroll your many scrolls
of wordy volumes
like an inviting bedroll
on the forest floor
(or my living room)
and pour lovingly over
every glistening dewy
drop
of your
responsibly
harvested
sap
(articles).
though I have let
my subscription expire,
don't think for a second
that I don't think of you.
Don't think I don't pine,
as your sweet pages
may pine for the pines
they may have once been
the time before they were
lovingly recycled from
the post-consumer waste stream,
or the new-growth pine
from which your water wheel
of sparkling, refreshing and
unfailingly sustainable ideas
may have been rough-hewn.
I have every pulpy piece of you
tucked gently onto my bookshelf,
in a neat stack all facing the same way,
waiting in suspended motion
for the moment
when I can unroll your many scrolls
of wordy volumes
like an inviting bedroll
on the forest floor
(or my living room)
and pour lovingly over
every glistening dewy
drop
of your
responsibly
harvested
sap
(articles).
10/22/08 Put Out Your Flags!
There are a lot of reasons to dislike election time,
but I like to use this time to get to know my neighbors,
since I'll probably never actually talk to any of them.
Put out your flags and let me see who's side you're on!
Months from now I will be huffing and puffing and
trying to remember which was the house with 4 McCain signs again?
Hmm, that's funny, it's a really cute house. Who knew?
I will remember the flip flopper over on 3rd Street,
the one up on Mandan that seemed so damned adamant
about the outcome of the race for state auditor.
I read more into these political yard signs than I should
because this is all I've got. I'm a one-banana monkey here.
And this is my only chance to feel connected to these strangers
in my community, however briefly and however mistakenly.
but I like to use this time to get to know my neighbors,
since I'll probably never actually talk to any of them.
Put out your flags and let me see who's side you're on!
Months from now I will be huffing and puffing and
trying to remember which was the house with 4 McCain signs again?
Hmm, that's funny, it's a really cute house. Who knew?
I will remember the flip flopper over on 3rd Street,
the one up on Mandan that seemed so damned adamant
about the outcome of the race for state auditor.
I read more into these political yard signs than I should
because this is all I've got. I'm a one-banana monkey here.
And this is my only chance to feel connected to these strangers
in my community, however briefly and however mistakenly.
10/21/08 Seeds of Hope
I've been going to the thrift store so much
I am starting to recognize the regular shoppers.
I can't decide if I want them
to recognize me as one of them.
I am this close to being a Bismarck bag lady.
And I kind of like it.
I am starting to recognize the regular shoppers.
I can't decide if I want them
to recognize me as one of them.
I am this close to being a Bismarck bag lady.
And I kind of like it.
10/20/08 Preparation
These are the small steps,
this is me in training:
I learn to light the grill,
I put the meat on the grill,
I take the meat off the grill.
Doesn't sound like much
when I say it like that.
But it's important for me
to know that I can do this
myself.
this is me in training:
I learn to light the grill,
I put the meat on the grill,
I take the meat off the grill.
Doesn't sound like much
when I say it like that.
But it's important for me
to know that I can do this
myself.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
10/19/08 Vessels
The basket can collect the seeds,
though the smallest of them may fall
through the broken switches.
And the jug can carry the water,
though some may slosh over the side
and more still may sweat out in the heat.
The sling can hold the baby there
swinging against mama's working body,
and she may be whole for now.
But she will bleed and lose those pieces
that the moon drags out of her,
that she knew she'd have to give back.
though the smallest of them may fall
through the broken switches.
And the jug can carry the water,
though some may slosh over the side
and more still may sweat out in the heat.
The sling can hold the baby there
swinging against mama's working body,
and she may be whole for now.
But she will bleed and lose those pieces
that the moon drags out of her,
that she knew she'd have to give back.
10/18/08 Running for the Hills
Running to the store or running to the bank
but let's be straight with each other right now
we can't count on either to be there tomorrow.
But the hills will always be there
and when the day comes
I will put bells on my feet
and walk day and night
and you can carry a flag
and climb to the highest spot
and I will find you.
but let's be straight with each other right now
we can't count on either to be there tomorrow.
But the hills will always be there
and when the day comes
I will put bells on my feet
and walk day and night
and you can carry a flag
and climb to the highest spot
and I will find you.
10/17/08 Unspun
It's true I spend more time with you
Mozilla Firefox, than with any of my friends.
It's true that I've been through a lot
with you, for quite a few years running,
and you know most of my secrets.
But you will know when I consider us
old friends. Because then if you are lucky
I will buy you a garbage bag full of
sheep shear, unspun and since last season
still even unwashed,
and give it to you for your birthday
three months too late.
Mozilla Firefox, than with any of my friends.
It's true that I've been through a lot
with you, for quite a few years running,
and you know most of my secrets.
But you will know when I consider us
old friends. Because then if you are lucky
I will buy you a garbage bag full of
sheep shear, unspun and since last season
still even unwashed,
and give it to you for your birthday
three months too late.
10/16/08 Subcomandante Pinkos
I am mid-drought with the costume ideas
which I usually have ready well in advance,
but so far I only had this one idea that was stupid
that needed pink fatigues and a pink ski mask
and a pink pipe and some pink ammunition,
but I try to let the thrift shopping be my guide,
like dowsing for water or divining a pendulum,
and Seeds of Hope didn't have anything pink at all,
so I might have to just be a cocaine-overdosed
sixties singer-songwriter, which is so overdone...
which I usually have ready well in advance,
but so far I only had this one idea that was stupid
that needed pink fatigues and a pink ski mask
and a pink pipe and some pink ammunition,
but I try to let the thrift shopping be my guide,
like dowsing for water or divining a pendulum,
and Seeds of Hope didn't have anything pink at all,
so I might have to just be a cocaine-overdosed
sixties singer-songwriter, which is so overdone...
10/15/08 Eavesdropping on Homework
Define the following words:
part:
Well, it can mean a lot of things, like on my arm, this is a part, or like, I have all these things and I can put them together and make something.
horse:
It's a thing that's, um, well it's kind of like a unicorn only without the horn.
farm:
A farm is a place...it's a place where...it's a place where there is a...barn. But it doesn't have to have a barn. And it has wildlife. A farm has to have a lot of wildlife.
part:
Well, it can mean a lot of things, like on my arm, this is a part, or like, I have all these things and I can put them together and make something.
horse:
It's a thing that's, um, well it's kind of like a unicorn only without the horn.
farm:
A farm is a place...it's a place where...it's a place where there is a...barn. But it doesn't have to have a barn. And it has wildlife. A farm has to have a lot of wildlife.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
10/14/08 Sweeping
This time of year, we're lucky when the wind doesn't
blow through and clear the autumn leaves off the trees
all at once, but even so, they inevitably come down.
I like the way they fall like yellow, crackling rain, and
I like the way the leaves collect along the edges of the sidewalks.
They make me want to get out my broom and start sweeping.
blow through and clear the autumn leaves off the trees
all at once, but even so, they inevitably come down.
I like the way they fall like yellow, crackling rain, and
I like the way the leaves collect along the edges of the sidewalks.
They make me want to get out my broom and start sweeping.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
10/13/08 Words On Paper
words on paper
words in the air
words in your ear
words in your heart
words in your head
words in your mouth
words in your altar
words under your pillow
words in the wrong order
words in a book
words in cyberspace
words in theory
words in action
words in contradiction
words in retrospect
words in defense
words better left unsaid
words in the wrong place
at the wrong time
words in the air
words in your ear
words in your heart
words in your head
words in your mouth
words in your altar
words under your pillow
words in the wrong order
words in a book
words in cyberspace
words in theory
words in action
words in contradiction
words in retrospect
words in defense
words better left unsaid
words in the wrong place
at the wrong time
10/12/08 Waiting for Me
"Wait for me!
Wait for me!
Don't give up on me!
I can still catch up!"
I said to
human evolution.
Wait for me!
Don't give up on me!
I can still catch up!"
I said to
human evolution.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
10/11/08 To The Tune Of
We are suckers,
we are suckers,
maybe if we just pretend that everything is normal
we won't have to ever admit that our government is corrupt
and that we have lost control of our leaders
or that our country is being controlled by corporate terrorists.
We have lost all control,
we have lost all control,
la dee da.
(to be sung to the tune of 850 billion dollars)
we are suckers,
maybe if we just pretend that everything is normal
we won't have to ever admit that our government is corrupt
and that we have lost control of our leaders
or that our country is being controlled by corporate terrorists.
We have lost all control,
we have lost all control,
la dee da.
(to be sung to the tune of 850 billion dollars)
10/10/08 Life's a Stage
Oh my god is it possible for me
to screw up absolutely everything?!?
Audience Card: "AWWWWW"
Oh my god could you all please
just leave me alone for five seconds?!?
Audience Card: "BOOOOO"
Oh my god I am going to run away
screaming and never come back!!!
Audience Card: "APPLAUSE"
to screw up absolutely everything?!?
Audience Card: "AWWWWW"
Oh my god could you all please
just leave me alone for five seconds?!?
Audience Card: "BOOOOO"
Oh my god I am going to run away
screaming and never come back!!!
Audience Card: "APPLAUSE"
10/9/08 Marvelous
There's no one else I'd rather be detained with
at the Canadian border.
There's not another soul on this earth
I'd rather slide drunkenly
across the kitchen floor with.
Because you are the original
zany superhero penpal.
You possess the grace to blog
with hummingbird in hand.
I don't even mind that you run.
Boisterous
or soft.
Married
or medicated.
You will always win
the best camper award.
at the Canadian border.
There's not another soul on this earth
I'd rather slide drunkenly
across the kitchen floor with.
Because you are the original
zany superhero penpal.
You possess the grace to blog
with hummingbird in hand.
I don't even mind that you run.
Boisterous
or soft.
Married
or medicated.
You will always win
the best camper award.
Friday, October 10, 2008
10/8/08 Disguised
I saw a girl today who was wearing
a goofy trendy hat and a pair of
great big huge sunglasses,
with her hair bunched in around her face.
First I thought she looked like
a celebrity disguised as a normal person,
then decided she must be a normal person
disguised as a celebrity.
a goofy trendy hat and a pair of
great big huge sunglasses,
with her hair bunched in around her face.
First I thought she looked like
a celebrity disguised as a normal person,
then decided she must be a normal person
disguised as a celebrity.
10/7/08 Island
I am an island floating
in a sea of couch,
inhabited only by two lazy
but well-mannered cats.
in a sea of couch,
inhabited only by two lazy
but well-mannered cats.
Monday, October 6, 2008
10/6/08 Tough Crowd
"Who do I have to show my boobs to
to get a little respect around here?!?"
Cook looks up from his legos and
Ama studies me from the high chair.
Don't forget to tip your waiters.
I'll be here all week.
to get a little respect around here?!?"
Cook looks up from his legos and
Ama studies me from the high chair.
Don't forget to tip your waiters.
I'll be here all week.
10/5/08 Sigh of Relief
Apparently
anybody
can get
a blog.
You don't
have to
deserve it
and thankfully
there are no
minimum
quality
requirements.
(sigh of relief)
anybody
can get
a blog.
You don't
have to
deserve it
and thankfully
there are no
minimum
quality
requirements.
(sigh of relief)
10/4 Good Buddy
wiretapping citizens
check
interfering with elections
check
torturing prisoners
check
arresting dissenters
check
controlling the media
check
hmmm, I'm starting to get...the...feeling...
nope, never mind...anyone for a piece of apple pie?
check
interfering with elections
check
torturing prisoners
check
arresting dissenters
check
controlling the media
check
hmmm, I'm starting to get...the...feeling...
nope, never mind...anyone for a piece of apple pie?
10/3/08 Chi Body Parts
If we become present in our world
we begin to see the way the energy
flows into and out of and beyond every thing.
We begin to see with our chi-eyes
and feel compassion with our chi-hearts.
We begin to find humility in our chi-knees
and wiggle our delicious cheese-powdered chi-toes.
we begin to see the way the energy
flows into and out of and beyond every thing.
We begin to see with our chi-eyes
and feel compassion with our chi-hearts.
We begin to find humility in our chi-knees
and wiggle our delicious cheese-powdered chi-toes.
10/2/08 Eat Your Hamburger
In a moment of hopelessness
or introspection or drunkenness
midway through an evening at the casino
one could easily decide to do
a badly-phrased informal public survey
about going crazy trying to be authentic
versus trying to act convincingly enough of normal.
This would be a good time for a friend or
even a friendly bystander to step in and say,
"Listen, this is a bad idea and you are obnoxious.
Why don't you just sit down, eat your hamburger
and shut the fuck up."
Wouldn't it?
or introspection or drunkenness
midway through an evening at the casino
one could easily decide to do
a badly-phrased informal public survey
about going crazy trying to be authentic
versus trying to act convincingly enough of normal.
This would be a good time for a friend or
even a friendly bystander to step in and say,
"Listen, this is a bad idea and you are obnoxious.
Why don't you just sit down, eat your hamburger
and shut the fuck up."
Wouldn't it?
10/1/08 On Shame and Corn Syrup
I saw a girl I knew at the store.
I had a Coca Cola in my hand
as I sometimes do, just freshly purchased,
and I reacted like I sometimes do,
like a cross between a cringe and a shrink,
like I'd just been caught masturbating
or shoplifting a home enema kit
or kicking my neighbor's little white ugly dog
in its little yippity yappity ribs.
Of course my knee-jerk emotion was shame,
isn't it always, as I crumbled before this casual acquaintance
who might now possibly think slightly less of me,
and then I thought, you know, this is me and a soda.
I can just own this. I can just be my whole self
and embrace the caffeine/refined sugar addict that I am
along with all the other things about me that I
may or may not fully agree with or be proud of.
And anyway a little bit of corn syrup never hurt anybody.
Well, that's just silly, of course it has,
but still I refuse to give up my right
to be intermittently self-destructive,
which I believe is one of the inalienable rights,
and is usually one of my favorite rights to exercise
intermittently.
I had a Coca Cola in my hand
as I sometimes do, just freshly purchased,
and I reacted like I sometimes do,
like a cross between a cringe and a shrink,
like I'd just been caught masturbating
or shoplifting a home enema kit
or kicking my neighbor's little white ugly dog
in its little yippity yappity ribs.
Of course my knee-jerk emotion was shame,
isn't it always, as I crumbled before this casual acquaintance
who might now possibly think slightly less of me,
and then I thought, you know, this is me and a soda.
I can just own this. I can just be my whole self
and embrace the caffeine/refined sugar addict that I am
along with all the other things about me that I
may or may not fully agree with or be proud of.
And anyway a little bit of corn syrup never hurt anybody.
Well, that's just silly, of course it has,
but still I refuse to give up my right
to be intermittently self-destructive,
which I believe is one of the inalienable rights,
and is usually one of my favorite rights to exercise
intermittently.
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