1/3/08 sad and drunk (just scroll down through this one)

Is it better to have it a little bit than to not have it at all?
Is there a seed of happiness somewhere that I have
planted deep in the fertile shit pile of my accidental humiliations?
Maybe when I can see what I have I might stop wrecking everything.
Embarrassment and begging, and self-degradation and then
some more begging. There is a poem in here somewhere.
Just sit with it and in the end I may be a better person.
I may be a stronger soul, someone who can ask for what they need
or who can accept what they deserve. I will stop begging
and I will find the beauty inside of the living. This is my stupid poem,
so happy 2008. 2008 is great. 2008 is great. 2008 is a march
into painful knowing, which might hurt less than not knowing.
So happy fucking knowing.
Happy 2008.
Happy servitude.
Happy halfway.
Happy better luck next life.
I will probably live every single day of 2008.
And maybe that's enough.